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Oozing

from Humilis by Jazz Emu

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lyrics

Human doormat
You’ve seen him before that
sad mammal too frightened to talk back
Wet flannel you wipe on the floor man this is the format:

Excuse me, sir, I think you’re in my seat
I’m sorry, check my ticket, it says 7B
I know all the other seats are full, I’m so sorry
Oh god why isn’t he moving he’s just staring at me silently

I’m not trying to distract from the situation
But there’s a hole between my ribs, liquid’s seeping out
I wonder why this always happens during confrontations.
But then I work it out...

And I’m like
Oh dear me
It seems I’ve sprung a leak
Can you fetch me a bucket?
Cause I’m oozing confidence

It’s a self-assurance feast
And I’m all-that-you-can-eat
So grab a dish for the buffet
I’m oozing confidence

Look back to the chair and
You’re still staring aaahhh
But I’m impervious
I’m not nervous ahhhh

Cause I know how to resolve this situation
I grab the hole between my ribs, pull it bigger now
But from hole comes a sad little micturition
And now I’m freaking out. It’s a self-assurance drought.

And I’m like
Oh no I
Didn’t plug the leak in time
Can’t believe i didn’t plug it
That’s pure incompetence

And now I see you’ve realised
That I oozed myself bone dry
Tenacity starts to plummet
I’m losing confidence

Now that I think about it I reckon I would actually prefer standing
I was never one to shirk a challenge,
and what better test of mettle than
standing seven hours in the quiet carriage?
I actually like the feel of lactic acid,
Stacking in my legs while I’m fully static
Don’t you think lactic acid is actually sick
It’s like your muscles are still, but they’re filling up with acidic milk
At least I think that’s what lactic acid is?
I know i’m distracting from the present practicalities
In summation you can keep the seat
And i’ll keep on my feet and you can eat my KitKat
Sure, looks like you’ve helped yourself already
No problem, they’re built for sharing
Okay you’ve gone and eaten the whole thing yourself
That’s actually great, cause i’m trying watch my health.
Is there anything I can get you? A napkin.

credits

from Humilis, released July 26, 2021

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Jazz Emu London, UK

Jazz Emu is a multi award-winning Sex Therapist with a proven track record. His therapy sessions have been featured on infamous music establishments such as Comic Relief, Sky, and BBC Radio 4. He also produces ground-breakingly sincere musical video content on Youtube. ... more

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