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Technically, Probably More Of The Same, I Suppose, In Theory

by Jazz Emu

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1.
If you’re feeling nervous, in a Jittery mood You can confidentify, get your self-esteem good Put on your favourite tune Crank the volume to infinite Let everybody know that you’re frikkin invincible And strut! But if you’re overconfident that isn’t good You can come across as toxic and give people the Ew So whenever you’re strutting Boy the balance is critical Let every body know that you’re feeble and pitiful And cough Let everybody know you’re pulmonarily pitiful Let everybody know you’re pulmonarily pitiful And cough! Nothing gonna stop you with the Strahtkhaf Combo Strutting like a stunner who is pitiable confidence appears sky high Lung Health so low Yin and Yanging with the strut cough combo
2.
Everlight 02:47
In the cave that flows deep there’s a stalagmite It’s been craving the feel of the everlight And In the morning I call you And it will be summertime Summertime Don’t go wasting that Precious time on me I’ve been chasing that Ever Light Machine Don’t go wasting your precious time In the cave of my teeth there’s an appetite For a flavour of grief, never sees the light And in the morning I’ll call you And it will be summertime Summertime So don’t go wasting your Precious time on me I’ve been chasing that Ever Light Machine Don’t go wasting your precious time On me So I climb to the sea just to see what to do And I wave at the people who drift into view Catch an eye with my teeth just for something to do But as far as I see there’s no me without you
3.
I’m wanna spend the afternoon kicking it back Straight up cruisin’ with Eggerson Keaveny He picks me up at noon, sipping a pack of cold brewskis he bought for the evening He tells me that the twenty-seven empties in the bushes are nothing to do with him And I’m certain that is true, cause nobody's better at hitting my level than Eggerson Keaveny Eggerson’s very stable mentally And I know that cause he’s got six tattoos which say that! Always wears trendy chic accessories Such as this plastic anklet he’s not allowed to take off He’s wears a new look daily He served in the US navy He makes a mean steamed eggs and gravy! So now you understand me when I say I wanna spend the afternoon kicking it back Straight up chilling with Eggerson Keaveny He’s such a breezy dude, I feel so relaxed When he does his semi-hourly screaming He’s got a pet grub it’s called Robert and he loves to tickle him secretly I’m always in the mood for kicking it back and giving Robert a pat With Eggerson Keaveny Oooh, kicking it back, straight up chillin with Eggerson Keaveney I’m always in the mood for watching his back while he does his Retail Therapying Whenever he goes shopping, he picks up things and he drops them right down the back of his shirt He had an extra skin pouch surgically attached to the small of his back so he can catch all the snacks! He’s Eggerson Keaveny Woo hoo hoo, woo hoo hoo. I been spending all my time with Eggerson Keaveney Woo hoo hoo, woo hoo hoo. I been spreading all the vibes with Eggerson Keaeveny Woo hoo hoo, woo hoo hoo. I been committing petty crimes with Eggerson Keaeveny Woo hoo hoo, woo hoo hoo. No I couldn’t live my life without Eggerson Keaveney
4.
Eviscerate 03:37
Listening to my mind Listening to my mind Is the only gate I can find Is the only place I’ll abide So give me patience Michael I’m trying to break a cycle here Was hoping that the tide’ll Find a better way To come eviscerate The fear Glistening in your mind You’re glistening in my mind It’s the only phrase I can find It’s the only phrase I can find So give me patience Michael I’m trying to break a cycle here I’m hoping that the tide would Find a better way To come eviscerate The fear Dip one toenail in the water But are you strong enough to plunge right under? Dip one toenail in the water But are you strong enough to plunge right under? So give me patience Michael I’m trying to break a cycle here Was hoping that the tide’ll Find a better way To come eviscerate The fear So give me patience Michael I’m trying to break a cycle here Was hoping that the tide’ll Find a better way To come eviscerate The fear
5.
In the world of the future The Government’s a computer and it’s Illegalised everything Everything we love doing Everything that makes us human Dancing Will get you in prison Killer robots Out patrolling The Berghein Nightclub is Verboten But I’ve found a loophole Nothing in the rules says we can’t DHARNTZ D.H.A.R.N.T.Z. just Dharntz. The robot sensors do not stand a chance against homophones Their technology can’t handle those So get out on that Dharntzflohr And D.Á with an accent N S dáns! And while you’re at it pour me out a glass Of B.I.Y.R. that spells beer pass me A couple of those Their robot legs better keep on their toes These homophones are popping I’d like to see a bot come stop me dancing Stay alert cause I heard there are Robot spies in this club In disguise as humans Try’na find who the rebels are Try’na catch us getting down But they’re never gonna do it Cause our moves are lightning The heat is rising Show those robots how we fight and Set this club on fire There’s nothing in the rules forbidding arson! A.A.A.R.S.E..N yes arson Burning down this rebel nightclub’s something Humans all gotta do it’s in our nature, there is no use We need to burn this down But first let’s all say where our leader’s hiding! And list the tactics that we use for fighting Of course I know them, I’d just like reminding In my human head Cause I’m not a robot, let’s cheers to that 11011 Arming lasers, target phasers No! wait a second K-39. Are you sure you can betray the friends You’ve made in here tonight? Go slow, you know Lisa’s such a vibe And Clare can do that funny Cher impression that you like Are you really gonna get them lasered, Bevan? And act like this whole damn night wasn’t heaven? What’s this unfamiliar feeling? Some bad engine oil you’ve eaten? Feel that pulsing in your core, It’s saying partying’s forbidden But now you know fucking need it And there’s nothing in the rules says you can’t Dance D.H.A.R.N.T.Z. just Dharntz. The other robots watching on aghast As you bust a move So long to the layer of rust on you Goodbye shorting circuits And hello to the beating of you heart Your sex appeal is flying off the charts You realise your life’s about to start With a love in you You’ll bring an end to an ancient feud Peace across the planet Nothing in the rules says you can’t- Target neutralised.
6.
Sitting like a duck on water Laying every shot out right out for you Still upon the top But under Kicking like I Might not see the noon But I’m here for you What else can I do? Cause either way You were always Gonna take What you needed to take From me anyway My hesitation Was only there to make Me believe I can take Or leave what she Plays for me The chemical melody Oooh Didn’t see me duck for cover Didn’t give a fuck, but how could you? Another bus to throw me under? Park it in the spot below my room I’ll be here for you What else can I do? Cause either way You were always Gonna take What you needed to take From me anyway My hesitation Was only there to make Me believe I can take Or leave what she Plays for me The chemical melody
7.
The Real Me 03:45
They say to me it’s key to be yourself Authenticity is king Never seek to seem like someone else But pretending’s irrelevant Since I’ve seen the true, the real me: I’m a teenage boy in the year 2345 Who’s playing on a simulation of my life And kids in the future have it pretty alright So none of my fears are real, I’m just beams of light On his screen and it’s so freeing To know that when my life feels static (Game paused) He’s probably just peeing Teenage boy, play my life’s course To escape out of yours I’ve just got one question, of sorts: Why’d’you make me so bad at sports? When you think about it it makes sense That our actions are all controlled By a group of future adolescents Sometimes I act like twelve year old But you can’t blame me for peeing on the seat, it’s not my fault It’s the teenage boy in the year 2345 Who’s making me aim very slightly to the right In the toilet inside the VR synthesiser Which his mumma gave his pop in 2329 I can see him, and he’s feeling A bittersweet nostalgia for a period That he’s never peed in Teenage boy, make me dance through my life Wish I could see what you look like But from the dance moves you make me try I would guess that you’re probably white And does that teenage boy ever wonder if I can feel his joy in me? And does the teenage boy ever contemplate The fact that there could be Another teenage boy in the year 8345 Who’s playing out a simulation of his life And that every time he moves, he is feeding the minds Of the overlords who keep him all suspended in slime I can see him, and he’s feeling Their eighty meter tentacles which tickle him To keep him from sleeping Teenage boy, thank you for fighting Through a true sacrifice and: Living out your husk of a life So that my one can be alright.
8.
Money 03:22
In the ancient times If you needed to buy something nice You could SWAP IT FOR A BIG GOAT But they realised That this vibe didn’t quite feel right NOT EVERYBODY HAS A GOAT An entrepreneuring fella said “how about shells? We could trade little shells which represent the goat” Everybody there was like "hella yes" And he was like "brilliant And by the way it’s total coincidence That i live by the sea and have already Gathered all the shells" Money! It has always made absolutely sense forever (Money has always making sensed!) Money! It’s a system that is simple to grasp And these are its three logical parts: Disc of metal is smallest money And paper rectangle is bigger money But the biggest money Is plastic card with the horse! Getting money is simple, you can just print all The money then you’ll HAVE LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY But don’t print too many of the money or you’ll have too much money Which will MEAN YOU HAVE LESS MONEY Compounding inflation! But what is money made from? Well, my friend it’s simple Silver coins are made of copper Copper coins are made of steel, and the “paper” notes are technically cotton And the Credit cards? Recycled toboggans! Money! It has always sense absolutely maked forever Money! Did you know that monarchs’ faces alternate the way that they face on the coins? The Queen faced right and Charles will face left and When it’s Willy’s turn, I guess he will wanna be kind of edgy And maybe face the back of the room Cut the bullshit Let the money talk Cut the bullshit Let the money talk And keep talking and talking And because it’s high off its noggin From ingesting the cocaine That it’s statistically covered in Money! The metric system’s a ball, but the Imperial was baller Bring Back Old British Money! And did it make sense at all? You can bet your bottom stirling Half a crown, Was One eighth of a pound And a farthing was a straight-forward one forty-eighth of a shilling Why do you look so confused!?
9.
We’re all slaves to the time They called it a watch, because it watches our lives slip by. Don’t fact check that online. Now you’re lying there in bed and you find yourself setting The same alarm to wake you up at 7.09, gotta catch that 7.36 (service to Stoke) Do you maybe wanna give yourself just slightly more time? Oh wow, hmm, gee let me think… I would rather die than be awake for the nine extra minutes which I know would make me on time, I would rather dive into a vatful of live bees than conceptualise being that organised I would rather die! (i rather try to make love to a fire) Die! (I rather take a bath with my hairdryer!) No, I don’t fear sacrifice But don’t make me a martyr, don’t worship me just because I would lay down my life To avoid getting up from the sofa to reach for the remote and Every time I’m drafting up an email I see that little tag at end saying ‘Sent from my iPhone’ Every time I stop, and I highlight and delete it I’m sure that there’s a straightforward fix But I would rather lick ice with both my balkls in a vice than find the setting on my phone which would turn it off I’d rather have my nephew’s diaper as a drink than be slightly forward-thinking or nice to future me at all I would rather die! (the zebra crossing’s just a bit too far) Die! (i’d rather cross at this blind corner part) Die! (it’s worth the risk of getting hit by - ANGEL: So you made it up to heaven, now You can laze it up, you’ll never have to look ahead with prophetic vision to see if you might get future stress from a present Decision that you’re making. Now let’s get your booty through those pearly gates man All you have to do to Pass into the realm of the deep forever Is give your true opinion on the haircut I just gave ya. I would rather die than tell a stranger that I am not quite sure if I like the way they cut my hairs I would rather deny myself the Eternal Life than have to suffer a minor present awkwardness. I would rather die!
10.
Lay me out a devil’s bed Break new ground and break my head Say the things that stay unsaid Cause everybody knows That love’s no good for her Everybody knows Your love’s no good So make me light when I leave the ground Help me glide at the speed of sound Just keep me tied onto the fabric of you Make me light when I leave the ground Help me glide at the speed of sound I want to dive into the fountain of you Cause that’s the way they frame it: Like a game we’re bound to lose Until that cold night in Lisbon That cold night in Lisbon When we lock minds and listen
11.
Since the beginning of time Us Dads have hidden our emotions Concealed what’s up in our minds cause we’re Thinking about important secret stuff like "where should I hang this bike rack" But we’ve noticed a sudden change The world’s just not same as the way it was We’re confused but we’re taking a stand Cause they’re trying to take our lives away! But a Dad has rights To own a very practical fleecie In seven different shades of the same cut It’s just much simpler when the decisions made for you in the morning, Isn’t it Martin? To own a little foldable camping chair And verbally commend it’s ergonomic design To literally anyone who will listen It’s just a very solid bit of kit for price point! Stop, times are changing, and we have to too So us Dads are rebranding as woke cause We’ve absorbed other points of view, And realised white dads cannot be our only focus Uncles also have rights To a little plastic pouch for the airport Containing printouts of our flight itinerary Its Printed straight out from the website Covered in HTML code and barely legible To spend the bare minimum of effort On remembering the names of our children’s friends Despite having known them for twelve years it’s great to see you, Colin or Simon How’s the job going in sales and/or marketing? Things were better in the olden days Why did everything have to change? Take me back to catch just one last look at that golden haze When little children were still beaten When typhoid fever filled the streets and medicine Was a cup of gin full of opiates God I miss those days So I invoke my rights To be difficult to buy stuff at Christmas I end up receiving three of the exact same gift Jokes on them cause I love ancient History I will read all three and compare the editions!
12.
There’s a rat under my floorboards He's playing his favourite song I hear him tapping out the four fours was hoping he’d move along But who am I to deny him home? Who am I to deny him that? When they imagined the end of days They pictured a thousand million different ways For a human to go But who’d’ve ever known this? This is how I go down A Lonely vine of creeping ivy Cracking my window pane Slowly climbing through my psyche Was hoping he’d climb away But who am I to deny him home? Who am I to deny him that? When they imagined the end of days They pictured a thousand million different ways For a human to go But who’d’ve ever known this This is how I go down? So I’mma get on with it with getting Through my life Or baby what’s left of it Cause Armageddon is better with you Beside To help see the best of it So I’mma get on with it with getting Through my life Or baby what’s left of it Cause Armageddon is better with you Beside To help see the best of it

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released December 19, 2023

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Jazz Emu London, UK

Jazz Emu is a multi award-winning Sex Therapist with a proven track record. His therapy sessions have been featured on infamous music establishments such as Comic Relief, Sky, and BBC Radio 4. He also produces ground-breakingly sincere musical video content on Youtube. ... more

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